Excessive Kindness | Is It Good or Bad?

Be kind!

This is advice we hear since childhood, and we try to apply it with all our might, but have you ever thought about the limits of this kindness? Have you ever wondered that she might become a burden on you?

There is no doubt that kindness is a nice quality that gives its owner an aura of light and respect, and strengthens her relationships with others, but when this quality becomes exaggerated, it may become a double-edged sword.

Excessive kindness can lead to others taking advantage of you, and cause you to feel resentment and injustice, while it may prevent you from achieving your goals because you will be willing to sacrifice for the happiness of others.

So, follow along with us, dear, in this article; Let’s look at excess kindness from another point of view.

Excessive Kindness

We all believe in the importance of providing help to others, but have you ever thought that there is a way that can make you invisible to them? This method is excessive kindness

Of course, helping others is not negative, but focusing too much on it can negatively affect you in the long run.

You may find yourself doing your best to please others, whether they are asking you for help or you feel they need it, which can put you last, and reduce your value and importance.

Be kind and help others, but never neglect to give yourself the love and attention you deserve.

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Excessive Kindness Effect on Mental Health

We have always heard that kindness is a characteristic of honorable people, but did you know that your generosity with yourself and others refreshes your soul and blossoms your happiness?

By exchanging kind words, tender touches, and supportive attitudes, you build bridges of love and respect with those around you and strengthen your relationships with them.

But the effect of kindness is not limited to relationships only. Rather, it touches the depths of your soul to blossom positive feelings that refresh your soul and delight your heart.

Here are some of the excessive kindness effect:

• It enhances your self-confidence: When you provide help to others, share their feelings, and show your interest in them, you become more confident in your abilities and potential.

• Sharing happiness with others: Sharing fills your heart with joy, creates an atmosphere of positivity that refreshes your soul, and gives your life a special sparkle.

• Fighting feelings of depression and anxiety: Focusing on helping others keeps you away from thinking about your negative feelings, and helps you overcome feelings of depression and anxiety.

• Improves your physical health: Studies have shown that kindness reduces the secretion of stress hormones, improves heart health, and prolongs human life.

Excessive Kindness Harmful Effects

The damage that results from excessive kindness can be limited to the following points:

• Constant feelings of insecurity and fear of losing social relationships.
• Limiting self-worth to assisting others, thus neglecting its true value.
• Lack of awareness of basic personal needs, leading to neglect of self-care.
• Constant feelings of guilt and self-punishment, resulting from an inability to fully meet the needs of others.
• Increased levels of anxiety and stress.
• The emergence of utilitarian and superficial relationships with others.

So can you say “no”?

If you are doing things that are not a problem for you, then of course there is nothing wrong.

But imagine that just because you want to be extra nice, you have to agree to an uncomfortable situation. Would you be willing to feel upset just because you’re trying to be nice?

We often fall into this trap, as we believe that we must agree to every request made to us and that we must please others for them to love us.

But what about our own needs and desires? There is nothing positive about imbalance. You can still be kind without crossing your boundaries.

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Unfaithful Excessive Kindness

We have always seen kindness as a positive quality that gives its bearer light and beauty, but did you know that some women hide ulterior motives behind their cute smiles?

We highlight three possible reasons why some people show a desire to show excessive kindness:

1. Narcissism

Kindness is a manifestation of friendliness, which reflects concern for others without personal ends.

Some very nice women may be hiding amazing intelligence. They work to help and spread goodness, but their primary goal is ultimately personal gain.

2. Desire to control

Some people may seek to use excessive kindness as a mysterious way to control you

Someone may be overly kind to you, causing you to feel extremely grateful to them, which may make you more willing to fulfill their requests.

For example, your co-worker might give you an expensive gift to express your gratitude, then ask you to help her with a difficult task.

3. Excessive kindness is a compensation for lack of self-confidence

A person who is not confident in himself may resort to showing excessive kindness as a way to compensate for his negative feelings. Here is an explanation of this point:

• Fear of rejection

A person who is not confident in himself may feel afraid that his request will be rejected directly, so he resorts to exaggeratedly showing excessive kindness; To create a sense of commitment in the other person, making them more willing to fulfill their request.

• Feeling inferior

A person may feel that he is less valuable than others, so he tries to compensate for this feeling by showing excessive kindness, thinking that this will make him loved and accepted by others.

• The need for appreciation

The individual may try to show excessive kindness; To attract attention and make those around him think positively about him.

• Loneliness

Excessive Kindness in Raising Children

Parenting is a great responsibility that falls on mothers, and kindness is considered one of the most important qualities that mothers seek to instill in the souls of their children.

It is one of the values that we instill in our children from a young age. As you know, dear reader, teaching children kindness and love is necessary for their social, emotional, and moral development.

The effect of excessive kindness on children

As we mentioned for children, excessive kindness is one of the desirable and important qualities in their upbringing, as it contributes to building their personalities and encouraging them to develop compassion and empathy with others.

However, there may be some negative effects when this kindness is exceeded:

• Lack of flexibility

Children whose parents are excessively afraid of challenges and disappointments may have difficulty developing resilience and the ability to recover from trauma.

They may have difficulty dealing with stress, failure, and hardships in later life.

• Belonging

Excessive kindness may lead to a sense of belonging, as children expect to always get what they want and have their needs met immediately.

This can result in difficulties in forming healthy relationships and adjusting to societal expectations.

• Unrealistic expectations

Children raised with excessive kindness may have unrealistic expectations about how the world works.

They may believe that everything will always go their way, which leads to disappointment and frustration when faced with the reality of life.

• Dependency

When parents are too kind and do everything for their children, a feeling of dependency can arise.

Children may have difficulty becoming independent adults, able to meet their own needs, as they depend on others to care for them.

• Inability to deal with criticism

When children are very kind, mothers may tend to protect them from any criticism. This means that they may not receive the constructive guidance they need to grow and learn, and this can hinder their long-term personal and professional growth.

Dealing with criticism

There are several methods mothers can use to help their children deal with criticism. Here are some suggestions:

1. Teach your children that constructive guidance is a way to grow and develop, and explain to them that when someone criticizes their work, it means that this person cares about them and wants to help them improve themselves, but only if the person loves them and does not aim to bully.

2. Provide them with strategies for dealing with criticism correctly. For example, teach them to listen intently to what is said to them and to thank the giver for his time and efforts, after which they can evaluate the criticism, extract constructive aspects from it, and work to improve themselves.

3. Help your children build strong self-confidence, and provide them with support and encouragement when they face challenges.

4. Help them focus on their strengths and achieve their small goals, which means enhancing self-confidence and making criticism less influential on them. And to have faith in their abilities to improve and grow.

5. Use an engaging and creative style, including stories or illustrative examples; To help them understand how to use directions to their advantage, also try to avoid repeating words that express the same meaning to avoid boring repetition.

These strategies can help you enhance your children’s ability to deal with criticism healthily and constructively. Remember that every child has his way of dealing, so you may need to modify the strategies according to your child’s needs and personality.

So how do you help your children balance kindness with their personal needs?

• Be a good role model

Treat your children with kindness and respect, treat them the same way you want them to be treated, express your feelings and needs clearly, and follow a firm approach to raising your children.

• Teach your children the importance of kindness

Explain to them the benefits of kindness and how they can improve their relationships with others. Encourage them to help others and participate in charitable works.

• Help your children set limits

Teach them how to say “no” when necessary, how to identify their personal needs, and help them draw clear boundaries in their relationships with others.

• Boost your children’s self-confidence

Encourage them to express their thoughts and feelings freely, help them discover their strengths, and also support them in achieving their goals.

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Excessive Kindness Cure

You are a wonderful woman, kind and compassionate, always ready to help others, spread joy in the hearts of those around you, and make a great effort to make them happy.

– But have you ever wondered if “excessive kindness” comes at a high price for you?

Imagine yourself as a tree exuding a fragrance that captivates the hearts, and everyone is racing to harvest your wonderful flowers, but what if they continue harvesting without stopping?

You will feel tired, my dear, your beautiful flowers will fade, and the depletion of your energy will affect your mental health and personal happiness.

You can maintain your wonderful kindness, and stop being too kind in your behavior.

Here are some simple steps to control your excessive kindness:

1. Set boundaries

Let’s say your friend always asks for your help in driving her to her workplace.

A temporary contribution does not lead to a problem, but when the matter turns into a daily routine, you have the right to gently reject the request while explaining your circumstances.

Remember that setting boundaries does not mean a lack of interest. Rather, it means maintaining a healthy balance in your life.

2. Say goodbye to guilt and say “no” with certainty and confidence

Don’t worry, this will not diminish your kindness. Get rid of this heart-breaking feeling that you get after rejecting a request.

You don’t have to commit to fulfilling everyone else’s desires, especially when it conflicts with your time and convenience.

3. Write a list of priorities

Imagine yourself as an airplane that can only fly with proper luggage capacity.

Therefore, prepare a list of priorities, and allocate your time for work, family, health care, and things that bring you joy.

This list will help you know when to help others, and when to politely decline their requests.

4. Self exploration

Benefit from defining your dreams and desires. The more you know about yourself, the easier it will be to set boundaries, and the stronger you will be in defending your needs without hesitation.

5. Don’t be afraid of disagreements

Your fear of getting involved in disagreements may prevent you from communicating your thoughts and feelings clearly, and you may have to give up some of your needs and desires to maintain calm.

Therefore, you may become vulnerable to exploitation by others who may take advantage of your kindness.

Here are some tips:

• Learn how to listen carefully to the other party’s point of view.
• Express your thoughts and feelings clearly and calmly.
• Be prepared to compromise, but do not give up on your principles.
• Don’t get excited or give up easily.
• Learn how to end a discussion positively.

With practice, you will be able to communicate your thoughts and feelings clearly without fear of conflict, you will become more confident in yourself and your ability to advocate for your needs, and you will be able to build healthy relationships with others based on mutual respect.

Dear kind-hearted person, remember that excessive kindness is not a weakness, but rather a strength that comes from within you.

Be with others as you would like them to be with you, but do not forget to respect your personal needs and boundaries.

Put yourself first, and remember that taking care of yourself does not mean selfishness, but rather it means taking care of yourself.

Be kind-hearted and strong at the same time, and remember that true happiness comes when you find the ability to achieve a balance between your giving and your needs.

I wish you a life full of happiness and success, and that you always remain kind-hearted but with wisdom and strength.

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Frequently Asked Questions about Excessive Kindness

Written by: Dr. Nahed Abd-Alkareem Ahmad

Sources:

exploringyourmind

mindshiftwellnesscenter

psychologytoday